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Heart jokes ❤️ in 2025

Hearts are used in many ways and can have different meanings. Context is often used to determine what type of heart is being referred to, as the physical heart that moves blood through the body, a heart shape such as those on playing cards and valentines, or alternatively to speak of emotions and feelings. Heart jokes can be about any of these.

What car did the heart surgeon have for himself?
– A beater.

I have the heart of a lion.
– And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I have the eyes of an artist, the mind of a scientist, the hands of a pianist, and the heart of a child.
– Now I’m getting the electric chair after I was caught trying to get the liver of a politician.

What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?
– My heart beats for you.

What is Cupid’s favorite rockband?
– Heart.

on their sleeves.

There are 2 ways to a man’s heart. Through his stomach and through his pants.
– So why not kill two birds with one stone and go for a creampie.

Three old grannies are on a park bench when a very attractive naked young man runs by in front of them.
– The three old ladies, who hadn’t had action in decades, fixed their eyes on the handsome hunk and gasped.

Janice pressed her hand on her heart and said, “wow, that whippersnapper damn near gave me a heart attack.”

Edna, rubbing her neck, added, “I almost had an asthma attack!”
r>Mavis , still reaching in front of her, out of breath, exclaimed, “I almost had a stroke– but he was just out of my reach.”

Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable?
– Because they have heart.

Why did the pig have a heart attack?
– It had too much bacon.

What did the locksmith tell his girlfriend on Valentine’s day?
– You have the key to my heart.

On a plane is full of Redditors, a man starts having a heart attack.
– One of the flight attendants notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”

Immediately, five people stand up and say
“I’m not a doctor, but…

What do you call a black guy having a heart attack?
– An ambulance.

What happened to the cardiologist who wanted to become an actor?
– It was all in vein.

I told my hypoxemic patient that his blood started entering the deoxygenated chambers of his heart.
– I said it was all RIGHT.

I caught my little brother…
– After a terrible shipwreck, a man found himself alone on an island. He went about the island in search of food and shelter. After a long walk, the man froze in terror as he saw a tribe of cannibals in the middle of a celebration.

The man thought to himself, “I am so screwed!” To his surprise, a bright light came from the heavens and a deep voice said to him “Not yet my son, listen very carefully: what you have to do is run up to the chief of the tribe, kick him in the nuts, and take his spear. As soon as you take his spear, kill his only son with it.”

Without thinking twice, the man does as he was told. As he put the spear through the young cannibal’s heart the bright light appeared again and the deep voice said to him,

“Okay, now you are screwed.”

Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?
– His heart wasn’t in it.

When do you know you are ready for the game?
– The moment when your heart is pumped up.

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Heart Jokes in Biology

Science jokes are very common as they help people to enjoy learning about new things and how the body works, but also help to keep interest for those who do not enjoy the subject. Heart jokes about how it is a muscle and the work that it does to keep blood moving through the body are some of the funniest heart jokes but also educational in teaching what the heart it, how it works, and even how to best care for it.

Clean heart jokes can encourage people to do things that care for their heart and their health. These can encourage people to eat healthy foods and to work out in order to keep their heart healthy. Short heart jokes about how food choices affect it, silly heart jokes about not moving around much instead of doing cardio and how that affects the heart, and more are common in many situations.

Hearts as Decoration

The heart shape that is used on Valentines Day, playing cards, and more, are not reflective of the shape of an actual heart, but are easily recognized and accepted as a heart shape. Cute heart jokes are often popular around Valentines Day and anniversaries. While these are dotted around classrooms and offices alike, the heart jokes for kids are in books, on cards, and included in the best love jokes and puns.

Silly heart jokes are fun to use, and they are often part of great puns. Anniversary jokes may be used along with top heart jokes. Birthday jokes may also be heard around the same times as funny heart jokes, as celebrations are often decorated with signs of affection and care, while flower jokes and cheesy heart jokes work best together around weddings and celebrations of love. Wherever hearts are seen on walls, cards, and sleeves, there the one liner heart jokes will follow.

Cute heart jokes are found in kids shows and on cartoons, especially when showing that characters are in love or love something. The heart shape is most often connected to and represents the feeling of love.

Hearts Representing Feelings

Hearts are often considered to be related to the feelings of love, affection, and appreciation. The growth of emojis, and consequentially emoji jokes, has lead to increased use of hearts in messages and text conversations. This certainly leads to more corny heart jokes and cute heart jokes about sharing love within messages. Friends use them to represent their affection and care for each other, and the funniest heart jokes are most often shared between friends.

The connection between the heart shape and love is old and unlikely to change, though they are evolving in use. No longer limited to romantic love, funny heart jokes are shared between friends as a way to share love between friends and for family members. As people who are likely to be joking and teasing, this increase has certainly increased not only inside jokes and love jokes, but also hilarious heart jokes as they share stories and experiences. People who spend a lot of time together often use jokes to keep their conversations light and fun, to find a way through hard times, and to enjoy the best times.

Hearts can rarely be discussed without reference to heartbreak, and there are many broken heart jokes and heartbreak jokes as well. Helping people to get over the times that love didn’t work out is one of the most important things that friends do, and they also use jokes regularly to help create stronger friendships, so these moments have the best heart jokes of all.

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