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Harry Potter Jokes 👓 in 2025

Why doesn’t snape teach herbology?
-Because his lily died.

How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
-With quit-itch.

.How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
– Walking
J/K, rolling

Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?
-So you’ll never know which side he’s on.

Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
-Nobody nose.

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
-Weasley twins are 50 percent off.

Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?
-They were following Draco.

Why did Harry Potter cross the road?
-No reason. But we’re sure someone will still write fan-fiction about it.

Why doesn’t snape teach herbology?
-Because his lily died.

How many Hufflepuffs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-All of them.

How does Harry’s monthly grocery basket take next to no time when ordering online?
-Prior-In-Cart-Item.

In a snowstorm, Hagrid takes the cremated remains of Harry Potter and throws them out.
-You’re a blizzard Harry!

What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
-A Dumbbell door.

What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
-A Volt-demort.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra?
-Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
-Which Hogwarts master gets the blame for everything that goes wrong?Which Hogwarts master gets the blame for everything that goes wrong?

What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
-Harry Trotter

What’s the difference between Harry Potter and a spelling bee contestant?
-One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.

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