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Halloween jokes 🎃 in 2025

What does a witch use to do her hair?
-Scarespray!

What did one ghost say to the other?
-Get a life!

Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
-Because there are so many plots there!

What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
-A grave problem.

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
– Buckle your sheet belt!

What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
-A neck-tarine.

I wanted to tell a skeleton pun
-but I don’t have the guts for it.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
-He was trying to get ahead in life.

What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing?
-A cornfield!

Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs?
-Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
-He is mist.

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
– Bootiques.

Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?
– Because they just had their brains scooped out!

Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
– Because he has a Hallo-weenie..

What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
-Broommates.

Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips?
– It was just trying to be just like its mummy.

What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth?
-Fang-shui

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
– All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

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