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Grandpa jokes 👴 in 2025

“Grandpa, tell us that story again about grandma’s pearl necklace.”
– “Really? That old chestnut?

Why did dad put wheels on grandpa’s rocking chair?
– Because grandpa wanted to Rock-n-Roll.

Why did the grandchild call grandpa a hipster?
– Because grandma told him, hipsters buy clothes from thrift shops, wear glasses that are thick, and look different.

At a kid’s party, the hired clown was late to arrive. When he finally did arrive, he walked up to grandpa and asked, “Where are the kids, sir?”
– Grandpa looked him straight in the eye and answered very seriously, “That would be us. We grew up in the time it took for you to arrive.”

I just got a call from my australian grandpa!
– A boomer rang.

My grandpa always used to say “as one door closes, another opens”.
– A lovely man. A terrible cabinet maker.

How would grandpa react when you tell him about online classes?
– He would say, “Why is your education on the line? How will that work?”

How are stars and fake teeth alike according to my grandfather?
– My grandfather said, “These two come out only during the night.”

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog…we laughed a lot.

Were my Grandpa alive today
– He would probably suffocate in his coffin.

My grandpa’s last words before he died was “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”
– That spoke volumes.

How did the grandma stop my grandpa’s habit of biting his nails after 40 long years?
– She hid his glass of teeth.

What did the mother turkey say to her mischievous son?
– If your grandpa saw you now, he would roll over in his gravy!

A guy calls Newspaper office to print death news of his Grandpa.
Clerk: $50 per word…
Guy: Grandpa Dead
Clerk: Sorry Sir, Minimum 5 words required…
Guy: “Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for Sale”

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60…
– Now he’s 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.

Why didn’t anyone listen to my warning about the Titanic drowning?
– My grandfather replied, “Because you were in the theater, little boy”.

What did grandpa name the Italian restaurant he started in grandma’s memory?
– Pasta Way!

What was the reason for grandpa changing his major?
– So that he could switch to Classics from Literature.

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