Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Grandpa jokes 👴 in 2025

Why did grandpa yell ‘gallons, liters, pints’ the day after the Christmas party?
– Because he likes to speak in volumes.

A grandson asks his grandfather: “Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?”
– “Yes, there was”

answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson’s head.

“Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?”

“Yes, absolutely”

answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson’s other head.

I calmly opened the door and said, “Son, I found a condom in your room.” He looked up sheepishly and groaned, “Thanks Grandpa.”
– “Why did you call me Grandpa?” I questioned.

He laughed nervously, “Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”

What did grandma say to grandpa, when he claimed that he let out a silent fart in the church?
– She said, “Honey, you need to replace the batteries of your hearing aid”.

Why do grandfathers count their pennies?
– Nobody else has the time.

Little Johnny says to grandpa..
“Grandpa, make a noise like a frog.”

Grandpa asks, “why?”

“Cause daddy says we’ll make a lot of money when you croak.”

My grandpa would always tell me girls have two knees but guys have three
– You have your left knee, right knee, and your WEEknee

Why did grandpa tell the ghosts about his shirt size?
– Because he was the medium.

Why did grandpa spend only one hour with the grandchildren?
– Because one hour with them and he felt like a young fellow, more than that he said he feels drastically old.

I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on “Wheel of Fortune.” Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

A little boy…
…. and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.

He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t.

It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.

He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.

The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your Grandma.”

Dad, can I play with grandpa?
– “Only if you bury him back once you’re done.”

Why do people give a shout-out to their grandpa on their birthdays?
– Because that is the only way grandpa can hear them.

How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails?
– She hid his dentures.

After 65 years of marriage, my grandpa still calls grandma “honey”, “sweetie”, “baby”, and “sugar”. I asked him for the secret to keep love alive so long.
He said “i forgot her name 10 years ago, and I’m afraid to ask.

A little boy comes running Into the room and says, “Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?” The Grandpa says, “I don’t know, why?”
– The little boy says, “Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!”

What are the two things your grandpa doesn’t like about you as a little boy?
– One, you don’t want to sleep in the afternoon. Two, you won’t let him take a nap either.

Why did grandpa love grandma so much that he called her love, honey, darling even after 60 years of marriage?
– Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.

Follow us on Facebook