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Grandpa jokes 👴 in 2025

Why didn’t grandpa like the new walking shoes?
– Because he unwrapped them and kept looking but they didn’t walk on their own so he thought they were broken.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

My grandpa’s so cheap…
– When he dies, he’ll probably walk towards the light – and turn it off.

Why did grandpa like an ‘All-you-can-eat’ restaurant more than grandma’s cooking?
– Because he could decide when he was full at the restaurant.

What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?
– “How far do you think I can kick the bucket?”

Grandpa Joke
– There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.

My grandpa loves to listen to music on the radio.
– His favorite genre is Hip-pop.

What is grandpa’s bedtime?
– One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair.

Why did grandpa have the dog beside him always?
– So that he could blame the dog day in and out for all his gas leaks.

Why do you have to take permission from grandpa to sell fish?
– Because he is the cod-father.

Soviet joke my grandpa told me
– Brezhnev is showing his mother how well he has done. He shows her his suite in the Kremlin, his country house with a fully stocked kitchen, his Black Sea villa, his limousine. She says: ‘This is all really nice…but what will you do if the Bolsheviks come back?’

My Grandpa seemed distraught after losing his watch at the Nursing Home.
– I said, Grandpa, what will you do…….He gave me a wink and said…..I will search every Nook and Granny

Why didn’t the grandpa use glasses even when he was an 80-year-old?
– Because he likes drinking from the bottle.

How did grandpa react when his grandson told him he wanted to go abroad to study?
– He said, “You sure got to study lots of boards”.

I made a little sandcastle with my grandpa.
– Now I’m banned from the crematorium.

My great-grandpa died in Auschwitz
– He was really drunk and fell off a watchtower

Why is grandpa always smiling at grandma?
– Because he cannot hear anything she says and doesn’t want to upset her.

What do people call jokes when they get old?
– A grandpa joke.

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