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Grammar Jokes ✏️ in 2024

I’ve never met a three
– but I have… metaphor.

Grammar tells us, ” ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ “…
-But science tells us otherwise.

An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher comes over and says
-No, you should never end a sentence with an ox.

What was Socrates’ favorite thing to mold?
– Play dough.

The past, the present and the future all walked into a bar.
– It was tense.

Knock knock. Who’s there?
-To who? No, to whom.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
– A cat has claws at the end of paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
– Subordinate clauses

Why do words and punctuation end up in court?
– To be sentenced.

Comma said, “I think we should slow down for a while.”
-Full stop replied, “We’d rather just stop right now!”

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
-Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?
-Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.

What do pregnant women and apostrophes have in common?
-They’re prone to contractions.

Double negatives are
-a big NO-NO.

You can’t run through a campground.
-You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and said
-Name two pronouns.” I said, “Who, me?

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
-No joke.

I’m so bad at grammar.
-I’m so bad that I tripped and fell down a good.

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