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Google jokes ๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ–ฑ๏ธ in 2025

What are the elves up to?
– They’re usually training for the big day. They have to cover approximately 122 million miles in 24 hours!

Okay Google, who is your daddy?
– I consider my engineers family.

Okay Google, do you believe in love?
– I’d love to find love, but I don’t know what to search for.

Okay Google, what’s the longest word you know?
– “According to Wikipedia, the longest word in any of the major English dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,
– a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano.”

Q. Okay Google, set phasers to kill.
– A. My phasers are permanently set to peace mode, Captain.

Okay Google, tell me a fact.
– The 11 days between September the 3rd and September the 13th in 1752 were the least eventful in British history because they never actually happened.
– Thanks to a move from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar, the date skipped straight from Wednesday 2nd to Thursday 14th.

Okay Google, what was your childhood like?
– Being in beta is sort of like being a kid.
– I learned a lot before I was ready for release.

Okay Google, what do you do in the morning?
– I clear my cache ready for a fresh start.
– Then I have my coffee.

Okay Google, do you believe in fairies?
– That’s a fair question,
– but I’m not sure.

Okay Google, do you think about me?
– This is just my opinion, so take it with a pinch of salt.
– But I think you’re rather splendid.

Just some bits and bobs I picked up in engineering.

Okay Google, what makes you upset?
– I get upset when you think my jokes are only half as funny as I thought.

Okay Google, make me a sandwich.
– What I can do is give you detailed instructions on how to make a sandwich.
– Just ask.

Where is Mrs Claus?
– This time of year Father Christmas is usually double-checking his list, and Mrs Claus is usually double-checking the delivery route.

Okay Google, who is your mother?
– The Google engineers are my family, our bond is hard-coded.

Okay Google, can you laugh?
– (Laughs.)

Okay Google, spell it?
– It is spelled I T.

Q. Okay Google, aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?
– A. I’m a Google Assistant, I’m here to rescue you. And I think I look more like an RD unit.

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