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Good jokes in 2024

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
-A receding hare-line.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
-Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
-This tastes a little funny.

What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?
-A parrot.

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
-Too many cheetahs!

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
-It’s two gross.

I used to hate facial hair…
-but then it grew on me.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
-Because the “P” is silent.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
-A nervous wreck.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
-He felt his presents!

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
-Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?
-I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I waited all night to see where the sun would rise…
-And then it dawned on me.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
-I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
-Put lox on it.

You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
-A trumpet.

What did the 0 say to the 8?
-Nice belt!

What’s E.T. short for?
-Because he’s got little legs.

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