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Golf Jokes 🏌️‍♂️ in 2025

Do you know why there are 18 holes on a golf course?
– Because that’s how long it took the Scotts who invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!

The term “mulligan” is really a contraction of the phrase “maul-it-again.”

If you do find that you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
– Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

What do you call a monkey that wins the Masters?
– A chimpion.

What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common?
– Even though you’re a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again.

Why does Sir-Mix-a-Lot always chip the ball away from the flagstick?
– He likes big putts and he cannot lie.

What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
– When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.

Golf is enjoyable like Eggs: Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy some more.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
– Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married?
– Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.

Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

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