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Golf Jokes 🏌️‍♂️ in 2025

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

A classic: Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?
– In case they get a hole in one.

Golf’s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

What did the driver yell at the golf cart that cut him off?
– Kiss my putt.

A golfer is standing at a tee overlooking a river.
– He sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, “Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.”

Player: I made a 10 on hole 4 today!
– Friend: how on earth did you manage that?
– Player: I chipped in from the bunker!

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

Mulligan: Invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more 20-yard grounder.

What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
– Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even Mother Nature can’t hit a 1-iron.

What did Nat King Cole sing after he won a round of golf?
– Un-fore-gettable, in every way.

Floating near the Persian Golf

Golf: A 5-mile walk punctuated with disappointments

Why does the golf pro tell you to keep your head down during lessons?
– So you can’t see them laughing.

What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
– The Bogey.

The fisherman: What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
– When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
– In case he got a hole in one.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

What did the sign above the golf club bar say?
– “Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”

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