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Golf Jokes 🏌️‍♂️ in 2025

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
– Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married?
– Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.

Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.

What did the driver yell at the golf cart that cut him off?
– Kiss my putt.

Which pro golfer can jump higher than the flag?
– All of them, the flag can’t jump.

What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough?
– Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball.

What does a golfer like to hear from his wife?
– “Talk birdie to me.”

Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?
– In case they get a hole in one.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

“I wish I could play my normal game… just once.”

Why do golf announcers whisper?
– Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.

What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
– The Bogeyman.

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