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Golf Jokes 🏌️‍♂️ in 2025

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common?
– Even though you’re a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again.

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
– Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

What do you call a monkey that wins the Masters?
– A chimpion.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

Why does Sir-Mix-a-Lot always chip the ball away from the flagstick?
– He likes big putts and he cannot lie.

What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
– When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.

Golf is enjoyable like Eggs: Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy some more.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
– Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married?
– Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.

Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.

What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough?
– Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.

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