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Golf Jokes 🏌️‍♂️ in 2025

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

What do you call a lion playing golf?
– Answer: “Roarin’ Mcilroy”
– I once played a course that was so tough, I lost two balls in the ball washer!

I play in the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.

It’s not your fault you missed that shot.
– It must have been the crap attached to the end of your club.

What are the primary components of a golfer’s diet?
– A lot of greens and water.

Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?
– In case they get a hole in one.

Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

Golfer: I would move both heaven and earth to get a birdie today.
– Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve moved most of the earth already today.

What does a golfer like to hear from his wife?
– “Talk birdie to me.”

The problem with slow groups is that they are always in front of you, and the fast groups are always behind you.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do

Fairway: An unfamiliar tract of closely mowed grass running from the tee to the green.
– Your ball is usually found immediately to the left or right of it

Golfing is the idlest sport…
– Can you imagine just kicking a white ball around all day long?

What’s the easiest shot in golf?
– Your fourth putt.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

I had a terrible round today, I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake.

Practice Tee: A place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice

What’s the difference between a rock climber and a golfer?
– A golfer goes: whack! “Shit!”
– A climber goes: “Shit!” whack!

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