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Goat Jokes 🐐 in 2025

What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
-Goat Stories!

What did Bill Murray say when he visited the haunted farm?
-“I ain’t afraid of no goats.”

I hate when people pet baby goats
– You’re literally touching kids, perverts!

What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
-I have no idea how I goat here.

What was the classic 80s comedian goat called?
– Billy Crystal.

What do you call goat swimming really fast in a lake?
-A motor goat

They’ve recently discovered a brand new use for goats in Pakistan..
-They’re calling it “Milk”

What do you call a South American goat-killing monster with a cold?
-Achoopacabra.

I got given an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its knees
– they say it’s a-cute-kid-knee disorder.

What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA?
-Don’t know? That’s fine, I’m waiting to find out myself

What kind of music do goats listen to?
-Baaa-ch!

What do you get when you ask a goat to DJ at your party?
– A sick bleat.

Why could the vet not save the hyperactive goat?
-Because the goat was bleating out too fast.

What’s the definition of butter?
-An angry goat.

What was the tough goat in the 90s boy band called?
-Goatee.

Where do you find a goat with no legs?
-Right where you left it.

Everyone says the other side is the devil, but why wasn’t actual Baphometh on the ballot?
-Turns out, Spoonerists’ “vet out the goat” campaign was a success.

Why are goats from France so musical?
– To the prison shell-block.

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