Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Glasses jokes 👓 in 2025

I got some new glasses and I had someone say I am looking good!
– Not sure how they know how well I can see out of my glasses but I appreciated the attention!

Never Hit A Guy With Glasses
– Hit him with a baseball bat.

“YOU’LL SEE! THEY’LL ALL SEE!”
– said by a very passionate eye doctor as they throw eye glasses into a crowd.

(credit goes to my mom)

What do you call glasses for your balls?
– Spectacles.

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, ‘Man, I wish we had something to drink!’
Jim says, ‘Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?’
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It’s Jim. Jim says, ‘Hey, how do you feel this morning?’
Dave says, ‘I feel great, how about you?’
Jim says, ‘I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?’
Dave says, ‘No that jet fuel is great stuff
no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..’
‘Yeah, well there’s just one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Have you farted yet?’
‘No.’
‘Well, DON’T – cause I’m in New Zealand ‘

My Grandma is 96 years old and still doesn’t need glasses
– She drinks straight from the bottle.

A kid loses his glasses and falls down a well…
– Too bad he couldn’t see that well.

Police stops a man and says, “You’re supposed to be wearing glasses”
Man: I have contacts.
Policeman: I don’t give a damn who you know.

My girlfriend says she can’t see too well without her glasses.
– So I asked her what numbers she could see.

Have you heard about the man who recently died working at the glasses factory?
– Apparently he fell right into the glass grinder, making a spectacle of himself.

I’m really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!
– to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on

Dave’s wife tied him to the bed posts last night.
Dave’s wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Unable to move, he could do nothing to stop her slowly stripping down to her bra and pants in front of him.

She knelt on the bed, between his thighs and said

“Ok big boy, what would you like me to take off next?”

Dave gulped: “My glasses, please.”

Follow us on Facebook