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Glasses jokes 👓 in 2025
Glasses is used to refer to both drinking glasses and eye glasses. They are made with similar materials and can result in a similar finish; however, they are created using very different methods for their related tasks. Glasses jokes about drinking glasses as well as those about eye glasses are both funny and easy to fit in many conversations.
My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.
– Life before that was a blur.
Why did the the programmer have glasses
So that he could c#
(C sharp)
An old snake
“Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days”. The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.
Doc says, “What’s the problem…didn’t the glasses help you?”
“The glasses are fine, doc. I just discovered I’ve been living with a water hose the past 2 years!”
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first says, I’ll have a beer. The second says, I’ll have half a beer. The third says, I’ll have a quarter of a beer. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. Come on, now, he says to the group, You guys have got to learn your limits.
A man walks into a bar
He sits down and asks the bartender: “Can I have 8 beer please?”
The man gets his 8 beers, he starts to drink and doesn’t stop untill all 8 glasses are empty.
Now he asks: “Can I please have 6 more beers?”
The man gets his 6 beers, he starts to drink and doesn’t stop untill all 6 glasses are empty.
He looks at the bartender and asks: “Can I please have 3 more?”
The man gets his 3 beers, he starts to drink and doesn’t stop untill all 3 glasses are empty.
The man frowns and says: “I don’t get it… The less I drink, the more drunk I get…”
Why should you always wear glasses when doing math?
– It helps with division.
What do you call a German scientist who runs out of beer glasses?
– Nein Stein
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.
– It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?
I said, Why would I want two empty glasses?
You should respect people who wear glasses.
– They paid money to see you.
What do you call a dinosaur that needs glasses?
– A Douthinkhesaurus
I told my wife she was prettier when she didn’t wear glasses
– She said “So are you”
My grandpa is 95 years old, and he doesn’t even use glasses.
– He drinks straight from the bottle.
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
– He drinks straight from the bottle.
I have found a solution my glasses fogging up from wearing a mask
– I wear a monocle, they only fog up half as much.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
– A spectator.
Never hit a man with glasses
– Fists are just more efficient
I need glasses so I can see my family.
– Specifically, 3 glasses of scotch.
Most Popular Categories
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Drinking Glasses
Glasses are used every day for people to drink from. This is an overall term that is used to reference both glass and plastic ones, with funny glasses jokes for each. Some of the funniest glasses jokes are about how by definition something made from plastic can not actually be a glass, yet they are called that every day. This slang term is well ingrained in society around the globe, as something that people drink from, with cheesy glasses jokes pointing out the difference.Many different sizes of glasses are available and there are traditional or intended uses for each of them. Wine jokes may show the difference of wine glasses and will certainly be targeting those who drink wine from a water glass, while other silly glasses jokes may be aimed at using a juice glass for a margarita or a margarita glass for milk.
Eye Glasses
Eye glasses are worn by people who have a problem with their vision that can be corrected with a prescription, as sunglasses to protect the eyes from the sun, or as a style choice with no prescription. Top glasses jokes about the thickness of glasses have been popular for several decades as they often compare the thickness of the lenses to the eyesight of the wearer. Some corny glasses jokes are used by people who are making fun of or teasing others who have glasses, though this is usually a phase that is gone through by children and most adults do not use them as such. One liner glasses jokes are very popular in pointing out that people who need glasses often can not find them once they have been removed, because they need their glasses to see well enough to find them. This top glasses joke has been around for many years, likely decades, and will continue far into the future.Even with new technology and developments there is not one set solution to avoid glasses, though contacts offer a choice for some, and surgery is successful for others, these are not solutions that are suitable for every situation. The best glasses jokes will continue until they are no longer needed by society, and likely beyond as they are seen in pictures of the past and throughout history.
Cute glasses jokes are often intended to help ease the anxiety or worry of children who are getting their first pair. They may worry about them becoming uncomfortable, broken, or of being teased by others for needing them. By using funny glasses jokes for kids, these worries can be eased.
Glasses Jokes in School
Schools are not only places where people learn about the core subjects and skills for life, but also social skills and how other people are different. Short glasses jokes are common in school and they can be used for different purposes. Some are to help kids learn about each other and what glasses are for, or even how they work. Others are used by kids to tease the kids that have glasses, though these usually are a passing phase.Teaching about safety glasses and eye protection is one way in which teachers and schools can ensure that safety is observed during some activities. Safety glasses jokes are always a hit in the science rooms and woodshop. Eye wash stations are also present in most places that safety glasses are required, and hilarious glasses jokes about the safety glasses, the eye wash station, and the accessibility of dangerous things within the school are all common in these classes. Schools can use these all as a way to teach students about the world around them and ensure they are prepared for life after school.