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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

What vegetable is always cold?
– A chili.

What kind of flowers should you give your mother?
– Chrysanthe-mum.

When did the farmer decide to dance?
– When he drops the beet.

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign.
– Together we make mud.

Why does Elton John not like Iceburg lettuce?
– Because he is more of a Rocket Man.

What happens if a packet of seeds is left in a coat?
– The coat turns into a chia jacket.

Who is considered to be the coolest veggie?
– A rad-dish.

What does the youngest flower child in the garden say?
– Last bud, not least!

What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots?
– String beans.

How did the millionaire gardener get rich so quick?
– He was running a huge pansy scheme

It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof
– It’s impeccable

Why did the potato go to the doctor?
– Because he was not peeling well.

How do you actually fix a cracked pumpkin plant?
– With a pumpkin patch!

Hard work doesn’t harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances.

What are the kinds of socks a gardener wears?
– Garden hose.

What do you call two rows of vegetables?
– A duel cabbage way

What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
– Sunflowers.

Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?
– Because he could not find one date.

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