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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

What do trees drink?
– Root drink.

“A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.”

How would trees calculate a square root problem?
– They will use log-arithm.

Why should you not tell a secret in a garden?
– Because potatoes are known to have eyes, and the corn has ears.

What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
– “I am what I yam!”

What did one plant say to another in the plant race?
– “I am rooting for you.”

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
– They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don’t work half the time.

A friend perfected his garden flower beds through a process of trowel and error

What do you call a tree from another planet?
– A extra-tree-restrial

Who is known to be the fastest among vegetables?
– A runner bean!

Why was the gardener unhappy with the plant movie?
– Because the plot thickens.

What would be a gardener’s favorite Beatles song?
– Lettuce Be.

What kind of tree has hands?
– A palm tree.

I think I saw Michael J. Fox at the garden centre yesterday.
– It might not have been him though, he had his back to the fuchsia

What would an insurance company for flower businesses be called?
– Oopsie Daisies.

What position does a baby plant serve in the army?
– In the infant tree.

Everyone has these on their face?
– Tulips

My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes nude in her garden…
– Personally, I’m on the fence

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