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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

Which day is most hated by potatoes?
– Fry-day!

What do you call a garden nursery?
– Plant Parenthood.

What do you call two young married spiders?
– Newly webs.

Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment
– The plot thickens…

What do trees drink?
– Root Beer

Why is it said that flowers could talk?
– Because of their tulips.

How do home plants say goodbye?
– “I will seed you later!”

Why did the gardener change his mind about gardening even though he wasn’t fond of it?
– Because the plants grew on him.

What was the name of the gardener’s favorite show?
– Lawn and order.

I put an electric fence around my garden.
– My neighbour is dead against it

What would be the name of a flower that has a band?
– It would be called Guns n Roses.

What plant part has the most number of friends?
– The bud

“I have no plants in my house. They won’t live for me. Some of them don’t even wait to die, they commit suicide.”

I have a bird feeder in the garden
– It also works as a cat feeder

I used to be terrified of gardening
– Then I grew a pear

What did the lettuce tell to the celery?
– Stop stalking me.

How much room should you give to fungi to grow?
– As mush-room as possible.

“What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower?
– They both have bees coming after them.”

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