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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

What does the youngest flower child in the garden say?
– Last bud, not least!

What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots?
– String beans.

How did the millionaire gardener get rich so quick?
– He was running a huge pansy scheme

It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof
– It’s impeccable

Why did the potato go to the doctor?
– Because he was not peeling well.

How do you actually fix a cracked pumpkin plant?
– With a pumpkin patch!

Hard work doesn’t harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances.

What are the kinds of socks a gardener wears?
– Garden hose.

What do you call two rows of vegetables?
– A duel cabbage way

What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
– Sunflowers.

Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?
– Because he could not find one date.

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
– Pumpkin pi.

I stood in my garden early yesterday morning wondering where the sun had gone
– Then it dawned on me.

What do you call it when worms take over the world?
– Global Worming

What do you call a mushroom if he was the life of the party?
– A fun-gi.

What would a big flower say to a little flower?
– “What’s up, bud?”

“What did the carrot say to the wheat?
– Lettuce rest, I’m feeling beet.”

What would be a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film?
– Raiders of the Lost Bark.

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