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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

Knock, Knock!
– Who’s there?
– Lettuce.
– Lettuce who?
– Lettuce in, its cold out here.

What is brown and runs round the garden?
– A fence

What would be a gardener’s favorite Beatles song?
– Lettuce Be.

What kind of tree has hands?
– A palm tree.

I think I saw Michael J. Fox at the garden centre yesterday.
– It might not have been him though, he had his back to the fuchsia

What would an insurance company for flower businesses be called?
– Oopsie Daisies.

What position does a baby plant serve in the army?
– In the infant tree.

Everyone has these on their face?
– Tulips

My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes nude in her garden…
– Personally, I’m on the fence

I’m making a belt decorated with herbs from my garden
– My friends tell me it’s a waist of thyme

How do vegetables greet each other?
– “How you bean?”

Why couldn’t the gardener plant any more flowers?
– Because he had not botany!

How did the garden movie get interesting?
– Because eventually, the plot thickens.

Why did the garden owner get arrested?
– Because he was disturbing the peas.

Who saw the salad dressing?
– The sandwich maker.

What did the plant owner say when he found out that about the plant recovery?
– “What a re-leaf.”

My gardener talked to me about edible herbs I can grow
– It was sage advice.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

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