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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2025

What is brown and runs round the garden?
– A fence

Knock, Knock!
– Who’s there?
– Lettuce.
– Lettuce who?
– Lettuce in, its cold out here.

Why did the gardener change his mind about gardening even though he wasn’t fond of it?
– Because the plants grew on him.

What was the name of the gardener’s favorite show?
– Lawn and order.

I put an electric fence around my garden.
– My neighbour is dead against it

What would be the name of a flower that has a band?
– It would be called Guns n Roses.

What plant part has the most number of friends?
– The bud

“I have no plants in my house. They won’t live for me. Some of them don’t even wait to die, they commit suicide.”

I have a bird feeder in the garden
– It also works as a cat feeder

I used to be terrified of gardening
– Then I grew a pear

What did the lettuce tell to the celery?
– Stop stalking me.

How much room should you give to fungi to grow?
– As mush-room as possible.

“What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower?
– They both have bees coming after them.”

What kind of astrology do gardeners believe in?
– Plum-is-tree.

What does the gardener do when Spring arrives?
– They wet their plants.

How do flowers handle sadness?
– They get clover it.

What does a nosey pepper do?
– It would get into the jalapeno business.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?
– Because they keep their eyes peeled.

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