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Fungi jokes 🍄 in 2025

How do you get into the mushroom?
– Ring the porta-bella.

Why do toadstools grow so near each other?
– They don’t need mushroom.

Why did the mushroom hate going to school?
– Because it was always so sporing.

What does the mushroom order from the fish and chip shop?
– Mushy peas!

What made the mushroom farmer a good person?
– He had really good morels.

Whilst traveling in Europe, I saw a group of men dressed as mushrooms performing Queen covers. I told them they were talented, and asked what their band was called. They replied ‘We are the Champignons, my friend.’

Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom?
– Because shiitake too much!

I would make a fungi fun-guy joke…
…but those are overused. Too bad there isn’t mushroom for other fungus jokes.

Where do mushrooms go for a night out?
– Salad bars.

I didn’t like mushrooms at first, but now they’re growing on me.

Why did the fungi family have to get rid of their old toilet?
– Because there wasn’t enough flush-room!

How does a mushroom clean its house?
– With a mush-broom.

A man goes to the doctor’s with a carrot in one ear, a stick of celery in the other and a mushroom up his nose. “Doctor,” says the man, “I’m in terrible shape. What can I do?”
And the doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly.”

What did the mushroom tell the mycologist?
– Nothing, because mushrooms can’t speak.

Why are mushrooms so good at their jobs?
– Because they press all the ‘white buttons’!

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
– One’s a tree.

What do you call a fungi that makes music?
– A decomposer.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Mush.
Mush who?
Mush you always ask so many questions?

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