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Fungi jokes 🍄 in 2025

Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom?
– Because shiitake too much!

I would make a fungi fun-guy joke…
…but those are overused. Too bad there isn’t mushroom for other fungus jokes.

Where do mushrooms go for a night out?
– Salad bars.

I didn’t like mushrooms at first, but now they’re growing on me.

Why did the fungi family have to get rid of their old toilet?
– Because there wasn’t enough flush-room!

How does a mushroom clean its house?
– With a mush-broom.

A man goes to the doctor’s with a carrot in one ear, a stick of celery in the other and a mushroom up his nose. “Doctor,” says the man, “I’m in terrible shape. What can I do?”
And the doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly.”

What did the mushroom tell the mycologist?
– Nothing, because mushrooms can’t speak.

Why are mushrooms so good at their jobs?
– Because they press all the ‘white buttons’!

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
– One’s a tree.

What do you call a fungi that makes music?
– A decomposer.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Mush.
Mush who?
Mush you always ask so many questions?

Where do fungi go shopping?
– At the grocery spore.

What do you get if a frog eats a mushroom?
– A toadstool.

I started growing fungi in my garden, but failed miserably.
– I guess there is mushroom for improvement.

What is a mushroom child’s favourite bedtime story?
– Fungus the bogeyman!

What do you call a book about mushrooms?
– A fun-guide.

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a lemonade. “That will be £11,” the bartender says. The mushroom pays for the drink and the bartender says, “We don’t often get mushrooms in here.”
– So the mushroom says, “With prices like these, you won’t get many more.”

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