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Fruit jokes 🍊🍋🍓🥝 in 2025

What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight?
– You want a peach of me?!

And they all lived apple-y ever after.

Grape minds think alike.

What’s a scarecrow’s favourite fruit!
– Straw-berries!

You want a peach of me?

You’re being very un-raisin-able right now.

I went to the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my ear,
– he gave me some cream for it!

What do you call a snake made out of pineapple?
– Ananas-conda!

What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
– Banananaa

Here, pear, and everywhere.

Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?
– They have such a high turnover rate!

Why did the lemon cross the road?
– He wanted to play squash!

A young Indian couple was trying to have a quiet wedding, but their family refused and made them have a big wedding instead. What fruit did they serve at the event?
– Cantelope

I love you berry much.

Wanna hear my best pickup lime?

Why do oranges wear sun cream?
– Because their skin peels!

What do you call a piece of art made by a fruit?
– A masterpeach!

I’m starting to think the Whitehouse is a fruit stand.
– An orange is being impeached because he’s bananas!

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