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Friday Jokes in 2025

I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday.
-I stayed in.

What is faster than the Flash?
– Friday nights.

In terms of money, I’m set for life!
-Provided I die next Friday

What did the horse get for Black Friday?
-A Macintosh.

What is Friday’s favorite day?
-Friday. It’s just that good of a day.

Nothing ruins your Friday
-Like finding out it’s only Thursday.

Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police
-I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early.
One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”

Do you think Friday the 13th is scary?
-No, but Fri 10, maybe.

What does it mean when you arrived late at work for the fifth time in a week?
-It means that is a Friday.

What did Monday say to Friday?
– Between you and I, today is a good day to hump.

Today is a “Robinson Crusoe-Week” again
-Waiting for Friday

What do you call the day when you have to submit a huge assignment that you have not even started?
– Frightay.

My girl and I decided never to go to sleep angry at each other.
-We’ve been awake since Friday.

What was on the specials on Black Friday?
-Leftovers from Thanksgiving Thursday.

Why was everybody so worried about Friday?
– Because it was Fatal Friday.

Just grabbed myself an early black friday deal – sleeping bag for only £30
-No idea how to wake it up though…

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday…
-Me: “I’ll just have the Paggione”.
Waitress: “That says ‘page one’, sir.”

Who can profit a lot on Friday the 13th?
– Tailors because they know a lot of superstitchens.

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