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Friday Jokes in 2025

What do you call it when you have to finish your homework on a Friday?
-A cryday night.

Just grabbed myself an early black friday deal – sleeping bag for only £30
-No idea how to wake it up though…

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday…
-Me: “I’ll just have the Paggione”.
Waitress: “That says ‘page one’, sir.”

Who can profit a lot on Friday the 13th?
– Tailors because they know a lot of superstitchens.

What does Friday smell like?
-Weekends.

Attention ladies “BLACK FRIDAY SALE”
-My house.
You And Me…All Clothes 100% Off.

What did the flea on the right leg of Robinson Crusoe said to the flea on the left leg of Crusoe?
-‘Bye for now, see you on Friday.’

Why couldn’t Friday lift the heavy weights?
-Because it was a weak day.

Why does Jack dress business casual on Fridays?
-He only has four suits.

When do rich people celebrate Black Friday?
– Every day.

What is the thing that almost sounds unreal but is actually very real?
-Boring Friday.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
-As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?
-They’re calling it a self-checkout

What happens to black cats on Friday the 13th?
-They have a lot of hiccups.

“Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?” said one blonde to another.
-“Oh dear!!” her friend replied, “I hope it’s not the 13th?”

Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal:
-Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!.

What did a worker tell his co-worker when the long and busy week was about to end?
– “Fri-nally.”

Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?
-It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!

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