Forehead jokes in 2024

So my buddy thought it’d be a good idea to get an inspirational tattoo on his forehead…
– Boy, was his face read.

Doctor to patient with gash on forehead: “What was the last thing you heard before the helicopter rotor hit you?”
– “Someone shouting ‘Duck, duck go!'”

Last night I went to bed wishing I looked younger, well this morning I woke up with my wish granted.
– I had a couple of zits on my forehead!

That’s not a forehead…
– That’s a forecourt.

My buddy wears a watch round his forehead
– You could say he is ahead of his time

An ugly son asks his Dad “Why is my sister named Rose?”
Dad: Because when she was coming out of the hospital, a rose fell from the sky and landed on her forehead.

US: Same for Penny?

Dad: Yup. A penny just fell onto her little head.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

A Burglar broke into our house last night. I didn’t shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead.
– Our three cats did the rest.

There were 3 brothers: Little Snowflake, Little Leaf, and Little Brick…
So one day Little Snowflake goes up to his mum and asks her:
– Why am I called like this?
– Because when you were born, a Snowflake fell on your forehead
So Lil’ Snowie all excited goes up to his brothers and tells them that they should ask what about their names, so Little Leaf goes up to his dad and asks him:
– Why am I called like this?
– Because when you were born a leaf from a tree fell on your forehead
So it’s Lil’ Brickie’s turn and he goes up to his dad and asks him:
– Did you know that vaccines have microchips in them so the government can control us?

When I was 10, I fell down during recess at school
When I got up, I noticed Ihad a rock embedded in my knee and my friend was pointing & laughing at me. So I dug the rock out and whipped it at him- hitting him right in the forehead.

That was the only time I ever passed a kid knee stone.

A young Irish girl goes to confession…
…and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

The priest replies, “Go ahead, my child.”

“Well”, she says, “Last night I made love to me boyfriend… FIVE TIMES! And it was GLORIOUS, Father. He made me tingle all over, and I swear it was as though I was seein’ the stars in my passion. And, I think I may have wailed like a banshee. More than once. And me legs was all wibbly wobbly, even the next mornin’. But, I know that makin’ love to me boyfriend before marriage is a sin, and I’ve come seekin’ absolution.

The priest sits back, rubs his forehead, and looks at the young lass and says, “Right. What I need for you to do is go down to Mr. O’Malley’s market and get four good sized lemons. Go home, cut them in half, and squeeze the juice into a nice tall glass and drink in down straight away.”

The girl looks at the priest with a confused look and asks, “ Will that absolve me of me sin, Father?”

“NO, but it’ll wipe the smile off yer face!”

At least you’ll never go broke…
– You can always rent out parking spots on your forehead.

I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead.
– Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.

Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch
One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

“I’m the superior spellcaster”, boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy’s head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

“Oh yeah?” Retorted Wendy as she shook out her hat and sauntered to the window. With a flick of her wrist, she pointed her wand outside.

“Tsk, is that all you got?” Meredith smirked.

But a moment later the storm clouds cleared away, and the sun was shining. With an extra wave, a rainbow appeared.

When Meredith was about to concede, she was interrupted-

“You two have NOTHING on me!”

Both witches sighed. *Karen*.

“Watch THIS!”

Karen began to twirl around the room, waving her wand wildly in the air. After five minutes, she stood dramatically still before tapping the wand on her forehead.

“Is that all-”

The two other witches winced as a flash of light filled the room. A moment later, Karen was gone.

“Where did she go?” Wendy said, looking around the room.

“Why question a good thing?”

But it was then that Wendy noticed a gold coin on the ground. Picking it up, she flipped it over in her hands. “Meredith you might want to see this…”

On the tails side was an inscription reading “World’s Best Witch”. On the other was a smug portrait of Karen.

The two stares at it for a minute before Meredith spoke up.

“Weird hex, but okay.”

Apparently, it is rude to poke somebody in the forehead
– and say “skip intro” when they start talking to you ….

My friend was putting lipstick on her forehead
– She said she was trying to make-up her mind

Jimmy goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”

The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
Jimmy says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. When I touch my knee it hurts! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”

Jimmy was diagnosed with a broken index finger later that day.

A child walks up to their parents and asks
A child walks up to their parents and asks “hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?”

The parents smile and reply, “When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead”. The child satisfied with the answer walked away.

The younger sibling came up and asked the same question.

“Darling, we named you Droplet because when you got you out of a hospital, a rain drop fell on you head. Hence, Droplet”, the parents replied.

“Gharwaalalalaajahaha!!!!” said the youngest child.
“Oh shut up Refrigerator, don’t be mean!” the father yelled

You look like someone drew a face on a balloon and then squeezed the bottom.