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Florida jokes in 2025

Why is the Florida mascot a Gator?
– It was the only thing ugly enough.

Florida is so hot that people crowd around fire to cool down.

I was bitten by a Great White while vacationing in Florida.
– I think he used the term “Superior Aryan,” but either way, that was one coked-out skinhead.

What do you give a puppy on a really hot day?
– A pupsicle.

Why do Florida State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
– So they can park in handicap spaces.

One time I thought I saw bear in Miami but it was just a palmetto bug fist fighting a grown man on two legs.

What color is the sky in Florida right now?
– Dorian gray.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

What is the definition of safe sex down in Florida?
– Placing signs on the animals that kick.

What’s the opposite of Florida?
– The ceiling, duh.

How can you become a small-business owner in Florida?
– Get a large business and let a Florida grad run it for you.

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