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Florida jokes in 2025

How many Florida men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?
– You can’t. Nobody in Florida has any cents.

How do you help someone during a heat wave?
– Give them lemon-ade.

What’s the best thing to come out of Gainesville?
– I-75

If it weren’t for Florida, what would I do with all my Ed Hardy clothes? Where else but Miami can I wear a bedazzled, tiger head muscle-shirt and have people just assume I enjoy bottom-shelf liquor and house music?

What do you call a Mormon from Florida?
– A Fort Lauderdale saint.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Water!
Water who?
Water you going to wear to the beach?

How do you casterate an Florida State Seminoles fan?
– Kick his sister in the mouth

What do Tom Brady and Robert Kraft still have in common?
– They go to Florida for happy endings.

My wife just told me that a pizza restaurant in Florida exploded…
– I said, “The owner probably had insurance and kneaded the dough.”

If a stupid blonde, a smart Gator student, and Santa Claus were playing cards, who would win?
– The stupid blonde, the other two don’t exist.

They call Florida the “Sunshine State,” which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes – when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.

WNBA announces plan to play abbreviated 22-game season in Florida beginning in late July without fans in attendance.

Come on. Do I even have to type the punchline for this one?

According to latest news the current Governor of Florida used to own and run his own alligator farm. So not only does he have experience with horrible scaly reptiles.

He’s also worked with alligators too.

What is the coolest letter on a hot summer day?
– Iced T.

Did you hear about the power outage at the Florida State University library?
– Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

And if Florida disappeared tomorrow, how would Governor Rick Scott get back to his home planet? Hot air balloon?

My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?”
– My reply was, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we will stop.

Are you a Gator’s fan? Don’t get offended to these funny Florida gator jokes. Share with your colleagues while watching the game. Skim through these jokes that only true Gators fans will laugh the hardest.

Where do bakers go on vacation?
– Orlandough.

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