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Florida jokes in 2025

2020 was like…
– an alternate universe where we were all living in Florida.

Do you want to know a good Jewish wine?
– Ma, when are we going to Miami?

Did you hear about the fire in University of Florida’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
– The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.

One blonde says to another blonde: “Which is further away Florida or the moon?”
– The other blonde replies: “Well dah. Can you see Florida from here?!”

One day, not too far off, Florida will be an entirely Blue state.
– With the sea level rising, it’ll be underwater.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy! I want to be a gator when I grow up!”
Mom answers, “Now Johnny, you know you can’t do both.”

Whats the difference between the Florida Gators and cheerios?
– One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!

What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a Jet Engine?
– The jet engine stops whining when it gets to Florida.

What do you call a rodent drama set in Florida?
– Miami Mice.

What do you call a Florida player wearing a suit and tie?
– The Defendant.

Two guys from Florida die and wake up in hell.
– I mean, where else would they go?

Did you hear about that giant cooling device in Florida?
– It was a Miami heat fan.

Why couldn’t the baby Jesus be born in Florida?
– Because they couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

What happens when Trump gets “jinx” called on him by the Vice President while campaigning in Florida?
– He has to buy Mike Pensacola.

Did you hear about the Florida Gator fan who tried to blow up the Tennessee team bus?
– He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

A guy walks into a bar and says, “Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the one about the Florida Gators?”
Four huge men stand up and approach the man.
One of them says, “We play football at UF, you wanna tell that joke to us?”
The guy replies, “What? And have to explain it four times?”

Why do Florida students have TGIF on their shoes?
– Toes Go In First!

I live in Florida.
– It’s a farming town near the southern coast.

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