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Florida jokes in 2025

What is the definition of safe sex down in Gainesville?
– Placing signs on the animals that kick.

What do you get when you drive quickly through the Florida State University campus?
– An undergraduate degree.

I want to go to Florida, but I’m worried about that tzatziki virus.
– I heard it makes you falafel.

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
– Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a trailer.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the horror movie “War of the Worlds,” but it’s actually just a documentary about a normal week in the state of Florida.

2 Florida men get into a fight.
– I have no idea what happened, but I’m sure it’ll end up on the news.

What is red and smells like blue Froot Loops?
– The murder-suicide scene at Toucan Sam’s Miami penthouse.

Did you hear about the Florida Gator fan who tried to blow up the Tennessee team bus?
– He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

What do you call a polar bear living in Florida?
– A solar bear.

If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
– The cop.

Why are rectal thermometers banned at Florida State University?
– They cause too much brain damage!

A man in Florida has been caught on CCTV stealing police car tires.
– Police are reported to be working tirelessly to catch the thief.

Someone asked if I was moving to Florida permanently.
– I replied it was only Tamparary.

How many Justices are there on the Florida Supreme Court?
– No one knows. They are not finished counting yet!

Demi Lovato is from Florida. Actually – I don’t know if that’s true or not but she’s awful so she must be.

Why do Central Florida fans smell so bad?
– So blind people can hate them too.

How many Florida State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
– None, it’s a sophomore course.

Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida.
– Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore.

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