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Florida jokes in 2025

Fall is the most beautiful time in Florida, really…
– All the license plates start changing colors.

What did the bee do when it was hot?
– Took off his yellow jacket.

What’s the difference between a University of Central Florida sorority sister and a scarecrow?
– One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.

Floridians like to say there aren’t roaches in Florida – there’s just “palmetto bugs.” If you don’t know what the difference between a roach and a palmetto bug is – a palmetto bug is a roach with wings that’s large enough to carry away screaming children from their mothers’ arms.

I went to Florida yesterday and a cop asked me if I have a criminal record.
– I said “No, is that still required?”

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Florida.
Florida who?
Florida bathroom is wet!

If you have a car containing a Seminoles wide receiver, a Seminoles linebacker, and a Seminoles defensive back, who is driving the car?
– The cop.

It’s called Fuchsville, where we grow our own fuchs, and keep them.
– Why would I give such a rare thing to someone else?

I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
– As you can imagine, he wasn’t in a very good state.

Why is the Florida mascot a Gator?
– It was the only thing ugly enough.

Florida is so hot that people crowd around fire to cool down.

I was bitten by a Great White while vacationing in Florida.
– I think he used the term “Superior Aryan,” but either way, that was one coked-out skinhead.

What do you give a puppy on a really hot day?
– A pupsicle.

Why do Florida State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
– So they can park in handicap spaces.

One time I thought I saw bear in Miami but it was just a palmetto bug fist fighting a grown man on two legs.

What color is the sky in Florida right now?
– Dorian gray.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

What is the definition of safe sex down in Florida?
– Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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