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Fitness jokes 💪🏋️ in 2025

My gym membership costs $120 a year.
– That’s pretty steep considering it’s $60 a visit

A fat man lost his weight
– Now, the gym doesn’t trust him with the weights anymore

What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym?
– Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.

I workout religiously. About once or twice around the holidays.

A personal trainer brought a bear into the gym.
– His clients really got shredded.

I always skip the gym the first week of the new year
– I can’t deal with the crowds.

– I also skip weeks 2 – 52 of the new year but still looking for an excuse for those.

I called the local gym and asked if they could teach me gymnastics.
– They asked, “How flexible are you?”
– I said, “I can’t make Mondays or Fridays.”

What was the stylist’s favorite exercise?
– Curls.

Which cereal puts in the most time at the gym?
– Shredded Wheat.

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?
– ” He said, “Try the ATM outside.”

I saw a dude ordering an Uber as he left the gym
– so I asked him, “Do you even Lyft, bro?”

Why did the man get arrested at the gym?
– He asked someone to check out his guns.

I joined a gym 6 months ago and still haven’t lost a pound.
– Tomorrow, I’m heading down there in person to find out what’s going on.

Leg day is important if you want to get a step up in life.

I asked my date to show up at the gym.
– She didn’t show up. That’s when I knew we weren’t going to work out.

What do Jewish men say to each other after a hard session at gym?
– “Muscle tough”

It was a real pain canceling my gym membership…
– They made me hand in a too weak notice.

I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending.
– Then I’ve finally got my gym clothes on and I can start my workout.

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