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Fish Jokes 🐟 in 2025

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
-Fsh.

What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich?
-A jellyfish.

Why don’t fish like basketball?
-Because they’re afraid of the net!

Why shouldn’t you ask a fish vendor for help?
-Because they’re selfish.

What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?
-Chews wisely!Chews wisely!

A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?”
-The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”

Where do fish go to borrow money?
-A loan-shark.

Why are dolphins so smart?
-Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

What do you call a fish with lots of money?
-A goldfish.

What do you call a rich fish?
-Goldfish.

Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
-She wanted to make a fish stick.

Why did the fish get bad grades?
-Because it was below sea level.

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
– Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

What do you call hunting for fish in Chernobyl?
-Nuclear fishin’.

How does a shark greet a fish?
-Pleased to eat you!

Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut?
-The bobber shop.

Why is fishing such good business?
-The net profits.

A Newfie went ice fishing and heard a voice say, “There’s no fish there.” He gets up and goes a few feet further. Digs a hole and starts fishing again. Again, he hears the voice: “There’s no fish there.” Looking up, the Newfie says, “Is that you, Lord?
-To which the voice replied, “No. It’s the Manager of the Arena.”

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