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Finance jokes 💰💸 in 2025

What kind of costs does a dishes company have?
– They vary a bowl (variable)

Police: Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card?
– Man: The thief was spending less than my wife.

My dad is so cheap that when he dies, he’s going to walk toward the light and turn it off.

Why did the accountant push the salaries, wages, and bonuses down the hill?
– She wanted to see the payroll

Why is prepaid expense soup so thick?
– Because it’s reduced every month

What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
– Account Dracula.

Fifth Third Bank? I don’t think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank. by Rowdy Bowden

Why did the cash analyst become a pirate?
– Because she knew a lot about treasury

“My family is just like a nation,” Mr. Jones told his colleague.
“My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary.”
“Sounds interesting,” his colleague replied. “And what is your position?”
– “I’m the people. All I do is pay.”

After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”

Did you hear about the butter company who switched to accrual-based accounting?
– They started recording income when it’s actually “churned”

I took a class on Personal Finance.
– I had no interest in it.

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