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Finance jokes 💰💸 in 2025

What kind of debt did the secret agent issue?
– A bond, James Bond.

What do you get when you combine Finland and France?
– Finance.

Did you hear about the man with a passion for accounting?
– Finance was his principal interest.

A hacker saw my financials
– He set up a go fund me.

Did you hear about the creditor who got bored?
– He lost interest

I met Greece’s finance minister, who was looking for help regarding the situation there.
– He asked me for my two cents.

Why can’t the car payment make any friends?
– Because they’re always “a loan”

What do you call dogs trying to establish an LLC?
– Creating their “beagle” structure

I’m devastated that my son has chosen a career in finance rather than taking over the family wheat farm.
– He’s going against the grain.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.

Why was the banker bad at playing music?
– Because they only knew how to play a Treasury note

Did you hear about the crab in financial difficulty?
– It was starting to feel the pinch.

My financial advisor asked me “What’s your net worth?”
– I said, “I don’t own a net”.

What do you call a liability without any friends?
– A loan

If you wake up at midday, you save the money you would have spent on breakfast.
– Just contact me if you need any more finance tips.

My company keeps overspending trying to move this giant rock…
– In other words, they can’t budget!

Why are rabbits so focused on working capital?
– It’s necessary for maintaining day to day “hop-erations”

I tried to start a hot air ballooning business but it never took off.

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