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Finance jokes 💰💸 in 2025

Why do fixed interest rates smell so bad?
– Because they never change

Why was the fishing store so valuable?
– It had a lot of “net” worth

I used to own a donut making company, but I got fed up with the hole business.

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.

What do you call a vendor that never tells the truth?
– A Supp-liar

British people are always recording their finances…
– Because the camera adds ten pounds.

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.
– Because they come from the Baroque era.

Why did the clean freak hate dealing with Cost of Goods Sold?
– Because it always made their profit “gross”

Studying finance is pretty easy…
…until you get to the class on-sell buyology.

I keep trying to tell my accounting jokes at work…
– But my boss says it’s hardly “material”

What do you call it when Quickbooks enters the atmosphere?
– Journal Entry

Why is money called dough?
– Because we all knead it.

You don’t have to marry for money; hang around the rich and marry for love.

What do you call a marathon for Accounts Payable Analysts?
– A settlement run

I recently read a book by Donald Trump on finance.
– It had 9 chapter 11s.

Who handles financial matters in a monastery?
– That’s nun of your business

P & L went to make an announcement…
– Well I guess it was less of an announcement and more of an income statement

What kind of reptile does PI work, and works in personal finance on the side?
– An investigator.

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