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Eye jokes 👁️👁️ in 2025

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
– Fishually impaired.

How did the optometrist-turned-politician do in her first election?
– She won by a lenslide.

What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher?
– They both love testing pupils.

How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it?
– Well, he saw it with his eyes.

What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot’s license?
– He’d be called the Sky Eye.

Why did the optometrist decide to go into real estate?
– She wanted to cornea the market.

What kind of game do all the frames love playing?
– Tag.

Why are eyes puns not puns?
– Because they’re optical allusions.

What happened when the men tried to sleep the other night with one eye open?
– They weren’t able to sleep a wink.

Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain?
– I guess that’s a site for sore eyes.

Why are E.T.’s eyes so big?
– He saw his phone bill.

Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses?
– Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal.

What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses?
– It’d be eye-ronic.

Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow?
– Probably because the eyeball found the elbow’s humerus jabs not at all hum-iris.

What has four eyes and a mouth?
– The Mississippi.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
– Piiig.

Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting?
– Because they just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes?
– Turns out, she was seeing someone else.

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