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Eye jokes 👁️👁️ in 2025

Why are E.T.’s eyes so big?
– He saw his phone bill.

Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses?
– Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal.

What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses?
– It’d be eye-ronic.

Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow?
– Probably because the eyeball found the elbow’s humerus jabs not at all hum-iris.

What has four eyes and a mouth?
– The Mississippi.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
– Piiig.

Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting?
– Because they just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes?
– Turns out, she was seeing someone else.

Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes?
– Well, I don’t see the porpoise.

What do you call it when an optician runs a two-for-one glasses special?
– Buy one, get one see.

How do the optometrists listen to music?
– With eye-tunes.

What did the husband optometrist say to his wife?
– He said, “Eye really sclera about you a lot.”

Have you heard about the new horse species that has one horn and one eye?
– It’s named the unicornea.

What would you call it if an apple user looked you in the eyes?
– iContact.

What’s another name for an eye dropper?
– Clumsy ophthalmologist.

How many optometrists are needed to screw in one light bulb?
– I don’t know. You’ll have to tell me. Is that one or two?

What makes our eyes feel quite lonely?
– It’s eye-solation.

Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff?
– Because she had a high eye-Q.

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