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Eye jokes 👁️👁️ in 2025

Why should you never put any avocado in your eyes?
– It’s so that you don’t get the guac-oma.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
– “Between you and me, there’s something that smells.”
A man goes to the optometrist for his eye test and is asked what he can see.
“I see empty airports, empty football fields, closed theaters, and closed pubs,” he says.
To which the optometrist replies, “Perfect — you’ve got 2020 vision!”

Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
– >!Everybody!<

What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again?
– He said, “I retina this is going to go on for a while”.

What would you call an eye doctor who’s wearing a short shirt?
– She’d be a crop-toptometrist

What happens if you have the heart of the lion and the eye of the tiger?
– You’d get called to the circus.

What do you call a penguin with no eye?
– A penguin.

Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber?
– She made quite a spectacle of herself.

Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day?
– Probably because she was unable to control her pupils.

What device do eyes usually use to listen to music?
– They use eye-pods.

How does a hurricane see? It sees with its eye.

Why do potatoes make great crime fighters?
– They always keep their eyes peeled!

What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out?
– The man said, “Not really. They have always been blue.”

Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body?
– Probably because they always focus on what matters.

Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball?
– A P Eye.

What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes?
– You feel silly in Heinz sight.

What do you call a pig three eyes?
– A piiig

Where can you always locate the eye?
– Exactly between H and J.

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