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Eye jokes 👁️👁️ in 2025

What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn’t see properly since childhood?
– It was a myopic.

What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses?
– It exclaimed, “Eye’m back!”

What would you call an alien that had a missing eye?
– It’d be called Alen.

What did the optometrist have to say about the painful eye pun?
– He said, “I did not see that one coming.”

Guess who I bumped into on the way to the eye doctor.
– Everyone.

What’s the difference between black eye peas and chick peas?
– Black eye peas can sing us a song; chick peas can only hummus one

Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses?
– Probably because his students were bright.

Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall?
– I guess he’s an Opthemallogist.

What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial?
– He said, “Eye will allow it.”

Patient: “I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye every time I drink coffee.”
Doctor: “Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?”

Did you hear about the bone doctor and optometrist who shared jokes?
– The bone doctor’s jokes were pretty humerus, but the jokes of the optometrist were too cornea.

Do you ever surf the Internet?
– Not much, but when I do, eye brows.

What did the left eye tell the right eye?
– It said, “Well, you’re looking alright.”

What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches?
– Eyes cream.

What did the optometrist-turned-lawyer say at the end of their first trial?
– “Iris my case.”

What did the mom contact lens say to her mischievous baby contact lens?
– She said, “I’ve had enough of your shenanigans. Now, go, sit in the cornea.”

What do you spy with your little eyes?
– Not a thing. Because I have two eyes of normal size.

What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball?
– “You Are Eye Sunshine”.

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