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Engineering Jokes 👷 in 2024

I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer
-and a Czech one too, Czech one too, Czech one too

Dad engineering for my baby.
-The wife can’t make me buy a couch anymore, we got a perfectly good one!!

A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
-She will chose the fourth prince: he’s the most hand-some.

I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer.
-I have a Czech one, too

What’s the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
-Oh, about $10 K a year.

How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
-He found his locomotive.

You other engineers can’t deny [M]
– Being an elevator engineer has its ups and downs.

Definition of an Engineer
-someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge.
See also wizard, magician

My daughter invited her aerospace engineering boyfriend to dinner so we could meet him…
-You’re not very plane and Boeing as I thought you’d be.”

Why aren’t train engineers made of copper
-Because, the. They’d really be conductors.

Why did the engineering students leave class early?
-They were getting a little ANSI.

My Dad attempting to make an engineering joke…
-Dad via text: Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Me: I think this might be the first time you’ve sent me a new joke in several months. Please bring back the old jokes…

A computer engineer came to my house. I said, “I can’t get aroused by programs and other operating information on my machine.”
-He said, “Software?”
I said, “In my pants.”

I have a russian friend who’s a sound engineer.
-And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.

What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
-He’d used all his cache.

What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?
-A pro-grammar
Was told by a friend’s father!

What’s the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
-Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.

The three laws of Dad Engineering…
-Always use the right tool for the job.
A hammer is the right tool for any job.
Anything can be used as a hammer.

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