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Drummer Jokes 🥁 in 2025

What type of cap does a stoned drummer wear?
-A high hat.

Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
-Because it can keep good time and won’t sleep with your girlfriend.

Hey guys, let me know if you hear about any recently deceased drummers….
-….No Rush….

And amateur drummer dies and goes to heaven.
-Standing outside the Pearly Gates he hears the best drum solo he is ever heard. He asks St Peter “Is that Buddy Rich?” St Peter response “No that’s God, he just thinks he’s Buddy Rich.”

How do you get a drummer off of your porch?
-Pay him 10 bucks for the pizza.

After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, “when they find someone who can’t play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer.”
-The drummer retorted, “and if he can’t play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor.”

How do you catch a drummer?
-By laying down a snare.

How do you know when a drummers knocking on the door?
– The knock speeds up!

What did the drummer say to the band leader?

-“Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?”

A drummer gave birth to quadruplets. She wanted to name them all Anna
– “How are we goman tell them apart?” asked her husband.
She replied “Anna 1, Anna 2…

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.
-All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

What do you call a drummer without a band?
– Unemployed.

February 1st, 1234 AD must’ve been the birth of the worlds best drummer
-One / two / one two three four!

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that…
-…my true love was arrested for human trafficking.

Why didn’t the Little Drummer Boy get into heaven?
– Because he woke up the baby, for Christ’s sake!

What’s the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
-You only need to punch instructions into a drum machine once.

What do you call a head injury at a drummer’s convention in Moscow, Russia?
-A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

When drawl is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth,
-you know the drum riser is level!

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