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Donkey jokes in 2025

Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey?
– His friends called him underp-ass.

What are a male donkey’s pronouns?
– He / haw

Two brothers and their donkeys
Two brothers argue on which of the two donkeys is theirs,
so the first man says, ” I’ll cut an ear off of my donkey and the donkey with only one ear will be mine you take the other one”. So they come to an agreement. At night the donkey with one ear looks at the other donkey with two ears in jealousy, and he ends up biting the donkeys ear off. The next morning the brothers start arguing again, one of the brothers says,” alright I’ll cut off a donkeys second ear and the donkey with no ears is mine and you take the other one.” So they come to an agreement. That night the donkey gets jealous again and bites the other donkeys last ear off. Morning comes the brothers are mad and arguing. One of the brothers says,” this is what we’ll do, I am cutting off my donkeys tail and the other one with a tail will be yours.” So they come to an agreement. That night the same thing happens the donkey with no tail gets jealous and bites the other donkeys tail off. The morning comes both brothers are mad. One brother finally yells,” alright fine how about you take the black donkey and I take the brown one”

What do you call a donkey in the Arctic?
– Lost!

Patient: “Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.”
Doctor: “Take these pills, and your dreams will go away.” Patient: “Can I start taking them tomorrow?” Doctor: “Why?” Patient: “Because I’m scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight.”

A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor.
“How’s the stutter?”, asks the doctor.

“It’s g-getting better but my friend calls me D-Donkey,” replies the man.

“Any idea why?” The doctor asks.

“No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that.”

What would a donkey’s pronouns be?
– Hee-Her

An Arab national is interviewed at the Embassy for a visa:
Consul: Your name please?

Arab: Abu Zina.

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Every day.

Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?

Arab: Don’t matter, sometimes even Camel.

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.

Consul: Isn’t that hostile?

Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.

Consul: Oh dear!

Arab: No deer! run too fast.

Who is the most famous donkey in history?
– Donkey-ottie.

What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
– A pain in the ass.

What do you call it when you watch a donkey fart?
– An asstute observation.

What did the donkey say when his owner kept poking him?
– Stop fingering your ass!

A guy walks into a brothel with a donkey and a honeycomb
The brothel owner says “Why do you have an jackass? ” Guy says, “I have a big farm, I want to trade it for some time with your girls.”

Brothel owner says “Okay, why do you have a honeycomb?” Guy says “I have a lot of bees, was hoping to trade it for some food.”

Brothel owner says “Why don’t you just eat the honeycomb?”

Guy says, “Same reason I brought the jackass, tired of it.”

What’s the most difficult key to turn?
– A donkey!

What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle?
– A Yam-Hee-Haw.

What do you call a 3-legged donkey?
– A wonkey.

I hear that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, absolutely loves to take part in Nativity plays. He’s played a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey…
– But he never made it as a wise man

I just shot a donkey
– Deadass

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