Donkey jokes in 2025

What’s donkey from shrek’s favorite Bruce Lee movie?
– Enter the dragon

The donkey once asked the Persian horse: “Do you play any instruments?” The horse replied:
– “Ney”

What makes a donkey sneeze?
– Hay fever!

What happens when you buy a mini-donkey?
– You’re getting a little ass!

What do you call a man who kills donkeys for a living?
– An assassin.

I once knew a Formula 1 driver who had a day job trucking donkeys.
– He was never a good driver, but he hauled ass!

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey.

What do you call a one eyed, three legged donkey?

A winky wonkey.

What do you call a Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?

A chinky winky wonkey.

What do you call an Elvis impersonating, Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?

A honky-tonky chinky winky wonkey.

When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles?
– When you’re only five miles from home.

I told my friend that I shot a donkey.
– “You’re lying,” he said. I replied, “No, deadass!”

Why did the man buy a donkey?
– He thought he’d get a kick out of it.

Once a certain donkey driver turned to Khoja Nasreddin: “Oh, wise one, explain one thing to me, otherwise I will lose my mind.”
– I was given ten donkeys to drive to another city, and I hit the road. Before the road, I counted them, there were 10. I sat on a donkey and we drove off. On the way, I decided to count the donkeys again, and, to my horror, there were nine of them. Then I decided to make a halt, dismounted, and again counted my flock, there were ten again! With relief I set off again, but when I decided to count the donkeys again, there were nine again! And so every time and all the way, there are always 9 on their way, and on a halt 10. Take a look yourself, O Nasruddin, and tell me how many donkeys you see here? – Eleven.

I like my women like I like my coffee.
– Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.

When do donkeys have six legs?
– When they’re being ridden!

What do you call a donkey in the Arctic?
– Lost!

What’s a donkey’s favorite TV program?
– Bray watch.

A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey…
…and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in the tea houses or restaurants in the city, they see the same man spending lots of money and boasting that he is in fact a smuggler and that no one can catch him.

Every day, incensed at his bold claims, the tax collectors obsessively search his bags of straw. They sift the straw, cut it into pieces, rip open the fabric of his bags, attempt to burn the straw, check his hat, his beard and even cut open his shoes in the hope of finding coins between the leather. And yet, each evening, he is seen back in the city growing ever more prosperous and ever more brazen, even offering to pay for the tax collectors meals and drinks while continuing to tell stories of his wily smuggling. The tax collectors continue their futile interrogations of the straw bags for years, to no avail.

This continues until, now a prosperous man, the smuggler moves away to another city and settles down to enjoy his wealth. Years pass and one day, in the market, one of the retired tax collectors meets his old foe and asks,

‘Mister, many years have passed: I am no longer a tax collector and we are just two old men. Please, you can tell me, what was it you were smuggling all that time?’

The smuggler replied, ‘Donkeys.’

[Adapted from a Mulla Nasruddin tale]

My two British neighbours had their donkey escape from the barn, and are desperately looking for it.
– They are assless chaps.

What do you call a baby donkey?
– A burrito.