Donkey jokes in 2025

Once a certain donkey driver turned to Khoja Nasreddin: “Oh, wise one, explain one thing to me, otherwise I will lose my mind.”
– I was given ten donkeys to drive to another city, and I hit the road. Before the road, I counted them, there were 10. I sat on a donkey and we drove off. On the way, I decided to count the donkeys again, and, to my horror, there were nine of them. Then I decided to make a halt, dismounted, and again counted my flock, there were ten again! With relief I set off again, but when I decided to count the donkeys again, there were nine again! And so every time and all the way, there are always 9 on their way, and on a halt 10. Take a look yourself, O Nasruddin, and tell me how many donkeys you see here? – Eleven.

I like my women like I like my coffee.
– Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.

When do donkeys have six legs?
– When they’re being ridden!

What do you call a donkey in the Arctic?
– Lost!

What’s a donkey’s favorite TV program?
– Bray watch.

A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey…
…and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in the tea houses or restaurants in the city, they see the same man spending lots of money and boasting that he is in fact a smuggler and that no one can catch him.

Every day, incensed at his bold claims, the tax collectors obsessively search his bags of straw. They sift the straw, cut it into pieces, rip open the fabric of his bags, attempt to burn the straw, check his hat, his beard and even cut open his shoes in the hope of finding coins between the leather. And yet, each evening, he is seen back in the city growing ever more prosperous and ever more brazen, even offering to pay for the tax collectors meals and drinks while continuing to tell stories of his wily smuggling. The tax collectors continue their futile interrogations of the straw bags for years, to no avail.

This continues until, now a prosperous man, the smuggler moves away to another city and settles down to enjoy his wealth. Years pass and one day, in the market, one of the retired tax collectors meets his old foe and asks,

‘Mister, many years have passed: I am no longer a tax collector and we are just two old men. Please, you can tell me, what was it you were smuggling all that time?’

The smuggler replied, ‘Donkeys.’

[Adapted from a Mulla Nasruddin tale]

My two British neighbours had their donkey escape from the barn, and are desperately looking for it.
– They are assless chaps.

What do you call a baby donkey?
– A burrito.

My two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn.
– They are assless chaps.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for – the accident to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,'” asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, “Well. I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite donkey Bessie into the… “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!'”. Farmer Joe said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…” The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Police officer on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say.” Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the motorway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Policeman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the officer came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”

He said, “Your donkey was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can, watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with the dead donkey?’
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

Chuck now works on Wall Street.

Why are donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys similar?
– They all have keys.

What do you call a donkey with a banjo?
– Bluegr-ass.

What’s a donkey’s favorite party game?
– Pin the tail on the human.

A HTML developer was walking down the street when he was greeted by a donkey.
“Hello Mr Programmer”, the donkey said, “how are you?”.

“mighty fine, thank you donkey”, the HTML dev replied.

Immediately the donkey started crying.

“What’s the matter little friend?” the HTML dev asked.

“I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse” the donkey bawled.

When a donkey is angry in traffic, what does he do?
– He honks

Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar?
– They all have keys!

The donkey once asked the Persian horse, “Do you play any instruments?”
– The horse replied, “Nay.”