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Donkey jokes in 2025

What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS?
– Comp-ass.

What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys?
– An assassination.

I’m a girl training in MMA. My instructor just taught me how to do the donkey kick!
– He says we’re going to work on the donkey punch tomorrow!

What do the donkeys on Blackpool pleasure beach get for lunch?
– About five minutes!

What do Bruce Lee and the donkey from Shrek have in common?
– They have both entered the dragon.

My car broke down on a Kentucky back road next to a pasture containing a single donkey .
– Not wanting to walk, I had to burro it.

What sound does a Swiss donkey make on a mountain?
– Yodel-ay-hee-haw

What are donkeys?
If cows are bovine and horses are equine, what are donkeys?
– Assenine.

What did the donkey do when he got cut-off?
– Hee-Hawnked.

What do you call a donkey with a doctorate?
– A smart ass.

What did the donkey do when he was driving his car and got cut off?
– Hee-haw-nked his horn.

Donkey Lives Matter
– Two terrorists having discussion in a bar. The waiter asks them what the discussion was about? Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.. Waiter :- Why a donkey? Then one terrorist says to the other, “See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people”.

Why do they have sex ed and drivers ed on different days in Mexico?
– Because they need to give the donkey a break.

What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs?
– Anything you like, he can’t hear you!

Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey?
– His friends called him underp-ass.

What are a male donkey’s pronouns?
– He / haw

Two brothers and their donkeys
Two brothers argue on which of the two donkeys is theirs,
so the first man says, ” I’ll cut an ear off of my donkey and the donkey with only one ear will be mine you take the other one”. So they come to an agreement. At night the donkey with one ear looks at the other donkey with two ears in jealousy, and he ends up biting the donkeys ear off. The next morning the brothers start arguing again, one of the brothers says,” alright I’ll cut off a donkeys second ear and the donkey with no ears is mine and you take the other one.” So they come to an agreement. That night the donkey gets jealous again and bites the other donkeys last ear off. Morning comes the brothers are mad and arguing. One of the brothers says,” this is what we’ll do, I am cutting off my donkeys tail and the other one with a tail will be yours.” So they come to an agreement. That night the same thing happens the donkey with no tail gets jealous and bites the other donkeys tail off. The morning comes both brothers are mad. One brother finally yells,” alright fine how about you take the black donkey and I take the brown one”

What do you call a donkey in the Arctic?
– Lost!

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