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Doctor jokes 👨‍⚕️ in 2025

A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.
-Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island.

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!”
Doctor: “When did that happen?”
-Patient: “When did what happen?”

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m turning into curtains.”
-Doctor: “Pull yourself together!”

Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?
– Apparently it’s all about the delivery for some people.

What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
-et dressed up — the doctor is taking us out!

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!”
-Doctor: “Try to block out the pain.”

Doctor: “I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to open you back up.”
– Patient: “Are you kidding me?! Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!”

Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?
-He kept feeling jumpy.

A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.”
“But, I don’t have the fingers!”
-Why didn’t you bring the fingers?!” asks the incredulous doctor.
“Doc, I couldn’t pick them up

Why did the king go to the dentist?
-To get his teeth crowned!

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