Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Doctor jokes 👨‍⚕️ in 2025

Why did the witch go to the doctor?
– She had a dizzy spell

How did you find that doctor was fake?
– She had good handwriting.

Doctor’s son: “Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.”
-Doctor’s father: “Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.”

Patient: “Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?”
-Doctor: “Use a pencil until I come see him.”

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
-For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment.

Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
-He kept seeing spots.

Why is a doctor always calm?
-They have a lot of patients.

Patient: “Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill.”
– Doctor: “Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet.”

Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Jimmy: “That’s great.”
-Doctor: “A horse with kidney stones.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side?
– He’s all right now!

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck in my ear!”
-Doctor: “Don’t worry, I have some cream for that.”

Doctors ask you where it hurts,
-but then put pressure on it..

Secretary: “Doctor, there’s a patient on line one who says he’s invisible.”
-Doctor: “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?
-A cold never bothered her, anyway

My kid’s pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late
-He has very little patients.

Patient: “Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?”
-Doctor: “Sell!”

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
-She told me to stop going to those places.

Patient: “Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000. I can’t pay that before the end of the month!”
-Doctor: “OK, then you have six months to live.”

Follow us on Facebook