Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Doctor jokes 👨‍⚕️ in 2025

Doctor, doctor, You’ve got to help me — I just can’t stop my hands from shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?
-Not really — I spill most of it

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
– IOnly if you aim it well enough.

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.”
-Doctor: “Don’t get yourself in a stew.”

Why did the rope go to the doctor?
– It had a knot in its stomach.

How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
– He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
-He was feeling really crumby.

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory
-he made me pay in advance.

I still remember the day the doctor told me I was mute.
-I had no words.

Patient: “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain.
-Doctor: “Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking

Why did the doctor tell the nurses to be quiet when walking past the medicine cabinet?
-So they wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills!

Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?
-In case, she wanted to draw blood!

Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
-The hip consultant.

Doctor, I’m hearing a ringing sound?
-Then answer the phone.

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m addicted to brake fluid.”
-Doctor: “Nonsense, man — you can stop anytime.”

Why did the library book go to the doctor?.
-It needed to be checked out.

Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course.”
– Great! I never could before!

Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
-To the dock!

Patient: “Will this ointment clear up my spots?”
– Doctor: “I never make rash promises.”

Follow us on Facebook