Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Divorce jokes in 2025

Why is divorce like a game of poker? Because sometimes you have to fold and start a new hand.

Why did the wife refuse to give her ex-husband the TV remote in the divorce settlement? She said she couldn’t let him have control over anything anymore.

Why did the wife file for divorce on Valentine’s Day? She said she couldn’t think of a better way to break his heart.

What do you call a couple who get divorced after only a few months of marriage? A micro-marriage.

Why did the wife get the dog in the divorce settlement? She said it was the only thing that would never leave her.

Why did the wife refuse to give her ex-husband custody of their cat? She said it was the only thing that still loved her.

What’s the difference between a divorce and a tornado? In a tornado, you can still keep your house.

What do you call a divorce that ends with both parties realizing they still love each other? A rom-com.

What’s the difference between a marriage and a hurricane? Hurricanes eventually run out of energy.

Why did the wife refuse to move out of the marital home after the divorce? She said she couldn’t afford to live anywhere else.

What’s the difference between a divorce and a funeral? At a funeral, you get flowers… at a divorce, you get the furniture.

What’s the difference between a good divorce and a bad one? A good one ends with a handshake, a bad one ends with a restraining order.

Why did the husband refuse to give his ex-wife the car in the divorce settlement? He said he needed it for his mid-life crisis.

Why did the husband refuse to give his ex-wife the family photos in the divorce settlement? He said they were his only memories of their kids.

Why did the husband refuse to sign the divorce papers? He said he was still holding out hope for a miracle.

What’s the difference between a divorce and a car accident? In a car accident, you have insurance to help you out.

Follow us on Facebook