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Dad jokes 👨 in 2024

A cheeseburger walks into a bar.
-The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.

I’m starting a new dating service in Prague.
-It’s called Czech-Mate.

Which state has the most streets?
-Rhode Island.

What did one wall say to the other?
-I’ll meet you at the corner.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
-He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.

I don’t trust those trees.
-They seem kind of shady.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender.
– I’ll have one beer and a mop.

Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
-Because the ‘P’ is silent.

Did you hear the rumor about butter?
-Well, I’m not going to spread it!

What kind of car does an egg drive?
-A yolkswagen.

Wanna hear a joke about paper?
-Never mind—it’s tearable.

I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
– He said nothing.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
-Mount Rushmore.

How do you get a squirrel to like you?
-Act like a nut.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
-An irrelephant.

Dad, can you put the cat out?
-I didn’t know it was on fire.

What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
-Live stream.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
-Because they have no body to go with!

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