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Crab jokes ๐Ÿฆ€ in 2025

Was holding a crab when it started pinching me
– My mom told me to let it go. I replied โ€œno, this is the least abusive relationship Iโ€™ve ever been in.โ€

Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?
– He pulled a mussel!

How to crabs call their friends?
– On a shell phone!

What lives in the ocean, is grumpy and hates its neighbours?
– A hermit crab!

What do crabs need to stay healthy?
– Vitamin Sea.

How do crabs run in Alabama?
– They run in family.

How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink?
– It starts to walk in a straight line.

Letโ€™s all clam down shell we?!

Iโ€™d give you my best one liners here, but Iโ€™m too shellfish!

What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?
– His Crabinet.

Why did the crab get fired?
– Because he was not moving the company forward.

What would a crab do with a smartphone?
– Take lots of shellfies!

Why did the crab get bad grades?
– Because it was below C level!

What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
– A cup of crab-uccino.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?
– One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a busty crustacean

Knock Knock

– Whoโ€™s there?

– Water

– Water who?

– Water you waiting for?! Letโ€™s go crabbing!

Why do crabs never give to charity?
– Because theyโ€™re shellfish!

What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
– โ€œHelp me think of an Instagram crabtion!โ€

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